Months of praying, planning, working and building relationships have come to fruition and ended in the greatest blessing I could have ever imagined. It is difficult to carry quietly in your heart the greatest message the world has ever known, a message of freedom and hope, and to remain shackled by the barriers that keep you from relaying this important message.
To cross seas and continents into the unknown, to face such uncertainty and possible risk, to daily love the enslaved you would set free, but to know that you are incapable of presenting your message or revealing to these beloved the hope that is so close to where they live is a great hardship. To know these beautiful women live in a hopeless shadow of darkness, a circle that repeats and continues again and again in their lives and the lives of their children, when Hope’s light shines less than a mile away and to remain without the ability to convey this truth or the knowledge of whether or not the opportunity will ever arise, is draining to say the least.
Yet, the simplest solution was found. We invited the girls whom we have developed relationships with in the main three pool bars we visit each day to a ‘goodbye’ luncheon since Rachel and I will be returning home shortly. We had no idea how many would come or if any of the girls from the GoGo bars would come. Often in Thailand, when people do not want to offend, they say they will be there although they never actually intend to come. Many of the girls would not be able to come because they are working and the bar fee they have to pay to miss work is 500 Thai Bot ($17).
So the day of the party we spent the early morning helping Ann and the girls prepare food for the possible guests and then we ventured out to the pool bars to meet our friends. We paid 11 girls bar fines and 17 came to the party. Each of our close friends from the bars came. Each girl was told by the house mother or by the Thai girls living in the home what Beginnings was about. They learned that at Beginnings they would be offered a different lifestyle, education, a free home, and even a stipend to send to their families or to do whatever they want with while living under the Beginnings roof to make up for the money they would no longer be making in the bars. Now each of these girls has been introduced to Beginnings.
The party was such a success. Visitors from distant lands (US, Russia, Israel…) just happened to be at Beginnings on this crazy day. One made a ton of balloon hats, dogs, bikes and flowers for the girls. They paraded around and posed for tons of photos. They ate the free and delicious food and enjoyed Thai tea and other drinks. Then we spent hours painting each others nails. We even painted some of their toenails, which in Thai cultures would be demeaning for the person doing it. The feet are considered the most unclean part of the body and to lift one’s heel to another is the ultimate insult. So to get down on the floor and paint another’s feet would show not only humility but strong friendship, love and honor.
It was nothing to me to paint my friends toenails, but it meant everything to her. I wonder what it was like for Christ the day he washed his disciple’s feet. I wonder if it was so easy for him to do because of his love for them. To them, it was unthinkable and Peter even tried to stop him from lowering himself in such a way. I bet to Christ it was nothing to love another so much-especially considering he lived and died for his disciples, even the one who betrayed him, and for the entire world.
Two of the women, very close friends of ours, stayed with us until dinner that night. They picked out the Eclipse DVD to watch and after seeing this sequel they desired also to watch the first movie, Twilight. I was amazed by the way they inhaled the love from the screen. I saw the craving in their eyes for such a love to exist in their own lives. It is expected for men here to cheat on their wives. It is common for a man to have a minor wife, which means a mistress. It is not even looked down upon. I cannot imagine living with the knowledge and expectation that my future spouse, the man I would love more than my own life and desire to give everything I have and am to, would be unfaithful and untrue to me—that he would have many women and I would simply raise his children and be nothing more to him than the woman who bore and raised his children.
Many times during this trip I was approached with different repulsive offers from men. But sex here is more like a commodity; it is just something that is done, not something that is personal or private. The truth: this is common all across the world. This great gift we have been given to be so intimate with another that our souls become one has been disgraced and turned from this great gift into an indifferent mediocre activity.
Despite this, I saw that in the depths of these women’s heart, they had a longing for a deep and unquenchable love that no fire or time could ever destroy or even begin to touch. I saw a pining in their lives they have tried to fill, a void that leaves an empty hole of agony in their hearts. Are they any different from the rest of us? We all have moments when we wonder: what is life about? What is the struggle and hardship for? Why do we endure day after day? Isn’t there more than this?
The answer: YES, there is more and it is found when Christ fills the void in our lives. He is the only one who can. No love of man can satisfy the fire that longs for the undeserving, unearned and unconditional love of THE God who created us for a relationship with Him. No earthly man or thing will ever fill the void or erase the pain; only through a relationship with Christ can we find peace and be made whole again.
For these girls I do not know what the future holds. All I know is they have been loved by us and they are even more loved by God. Who knows what will happen in the future or what would bring them to change their course and live at Beginnings? But now they know hope exists and in their darkest hour they know they have a place to turn. Now they can tell others, any who would leave the lifestyle yet feel trapped and without alternatives.
Our purpose in coming to Thailand has been fulfilled. I praise God that He brought all this to fruition. I know that all I can do now is thank Him for the opportunity He blessed me with to come to this place, to learn much from and in this different culture, and to share His love and hope with these girls. I leave them in His capable hands. He is the savior. I am just the messenger and how the message is received does not matter so long as the message is delivered. Only God can change and heal the heart of man and it begins with this simple message of the love and grace of Christ.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Ruins
Everywhere I turn ruins surround me: broken homes, broken families, broken people and broken lives. Even the buildings and towering architecture, once the pride and glory of man, reflect the ruined state of this country.
Ashes sift in the wind from the burnt buildings, and just as quickly as the flames consumed this security of man so too the flames destroy the hope of man. Even so, brightly, for one brief moment burns the flame, then it fades into oblivion and the ravished are left to grope in darkness.
Reality sets in as I gaze around me into chaos and disorder. People are just people, in every nation, country or tongue— we are the same. Each has his struggle, weakness, misery, secret, joy, happiness, dream and hope.
Atlas has shrugged and left the weight of the world to rest on our weary shoulders. Each of us has paused under the weight, the heavy pressure that would crush and consume us.
Each day as I walk down the road, I witness the struggle of those who bear this heavy burden that I no longer carry. I see the men God created to be strong and tall reduced by the greed and cruel desires of others, often family, and by so many forces into what people call Lady-Boys.
Maybe their family had no daughters, but still wanted to have the motorcycle or the flat screen television the neighbors can afford now that they have sent one or two of their daughters to the big city to sell the one possession they have. So the family chose the most feminine looking of their sons or the least valued and placed him on female hormones for a few years before getting him the surgery and sending him to the city as a Lady-Boy to sell himself. Or maybe after years of abuse and rape by men in his life, often temple monks, the wounded young man followed a horrific path never meant for him to more pain and wounds.
Truly, many of these Lady-Boys who flash smiles at me before resuming the dance of shame under a vacant mask are more delicate and beautiful than I could ever dream of being. Yet, never would I envy the ruins in which they live.
Nite is my favorite Lady-Boy of all. She smiles so brightly as we embrace and chat each day. She sometimes holds my hand and she loves posing for pictures. She is obsessed with beauty and dreams of being light skinned and having light eyes. She tells me I am so beautiful and pulls one of my curls. She smiles, laughs and beats me at pool every time I play her. The other girls fuss just as much over this Lady-Boy as any other member of their bar family. She is one of them and for the first time in her life, she is accepted and belongs-to a certain extent.
In the most horrible circumstances my friends live. With smiles, soft voices, laughter, humor and a ton of makeup they so diligently wear their masks and try to hide their bruises, wounds and pain. To show emotion, especially pain, is a shameful weakness, unacceptable culturally.
In their minds, the ruins in which they live were built by their own hand alone and no one else’s. When they are choked, it is because they talk too much and when they are beat it is only bad karma they earned from a previous life.
The ruins surround and overwhelm me. Where is civilization? Yet just as the Phoenix rises from the ashes, so too do I glimpse a glittering glimmer of hope through the ashes for once my life was a ruin and I too carried the burdens of the world which were crushing my spirit. But another took my burden and from the ruins of my fallen life He made me into His own beautiful image with love and tender hands.
How I wish my beautiful friends would meet my Savior and be forever freed from the crushing weight of the world they carry on their shoulders and from the masks they are forced to wear. How I wish they would meet my Lord
Ashes sift in the wind from the burnt buildings, and just as quickly as the flames consumed this security of man so too the flames destroy the hope of man. Even so, brightly, for one brief moment burns the flame, then it fades into oblivion and the ravished are left to grope in darkness.
Reality sets in as I gaze around me into chaos and disorder. People are just people, in every nation, country or tongue— we are the same. Each has his struggle, weakness, misery, secret, joy, happiness, dream and hope.
Atlas has shrugged and left the weight of the world to rest on our weary shoulders. Each of us has paused under the weight, the heavy pressure that would crush and consume us.
Each day as I walk down the road, I witness the struggle of those who bear this heavy burden that I no longer carry. I see the men God created to be strong and tall reduced by the greed and cruel desires of others, often family, and by so many forces into what people call Lady-Boys.
Maybe their family had no daughters, but still wanted to have the motorcycle or the flat screen television the neighbors can afford now that they have sent one or two of their daughters to the big city to sell the one possession they have. So the family chose the most feminine looking of their sons or the least valued and placed him on female hormones for a few years before getting him the surgery and sending him to the city as a Lady-Boy to sell himself. Or maybe after years of abuse and rape by men in his life, often temple monks, the wounded young man followed a horrific path never meant for him to more pain and wounds.
Truly, many of these Lady-Boys who flash smiles at me before resuming the dance of shame under a vacant mask are more delicate and beautiful than I could ever dream of being. Yet, never would I envy the ruins in which they live.
Nite is my favorite Lady-Boy of all. She smiles so brightly as we embrace and chat each day. She sometimes holds my hand and she loves posing for pictures. She is obsessed with beauty and dreams of being light skinned and having light eyes. She tells me I am so beautiful and pulls one of my curls. She smiles, laughs and beats me at pool every time I play her. The other girls fuss just as much over this Lady-Boy as any other member of their bar family. She is one of them and for the first time in her life, she is accepted and belongs-to a certain extent.
In the most horrible circumstances my friends live. With smiles, soft voices, laughter, humor and a ton of makeup they so diligently wear their masks and try to hide their bruises, wounds and pain. To show emotion, especially pain, is a shameful weakness, unacceptable culturally.
In their minds, the ruins in which they live were built by their own hand alone and no one else’s. When they are choked, it is because they talk too much and when they are beat it is only bad karma they earned from a previous life.
The ruins surround and overwhelm me. Where is civilization? Yet just as the Phoenix rises from the ashes, so too do I glimpse a glittering glimmer of hope through the ashes for once my life was a ruin and I too carried the burdens of the world which were crushing my spirit. But another took my burden and from the ruins of my fallen life He made me into His own beautiful image with love and tender hands.
How I wish my beautiful friends would meet my Savior and be forever freed from the crushing weight of the world they carry on their shoulders and from the masks they are forced to wear. How I wish they would meet my Lord
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Eye of the Storm
Lighting rolls across the sky as thunder roars on this dark starless night. In the very heart and eye of the storm there is peace to be found. In this age, and in every age before and hence, tragedy, injustice, strife and turmoil ripple across the land.
Today, I witnessed tragedy in the eyes of a young prostitute as she wept before Buddha, begging health for her family who sent her to work the streets and forgiveness for her wretched state and cursed life. Society looks down upon her and even her family despises her. But this life is payment to Buddha for the bad karma earned in her previous life. Everything that happens to her has been earned by her own hand and is deserved. There is no such thing as mercy, only debt. In her mind, the only chance for peace and redemption lay in selling the one possession she has, her body, to take care of her family because Buddha says the ultimate good a woman can do is to care for her family at any cost and places little value on women.
If she were born a boy, serving in the temple as a Monk for a few weeks would earn enough good karma to outweigh a lifetime of bad and would bring unfathomable honor to the family. But, as a woman, in a family that is either poor or simply wants more wealth and prestige, duty, honor and Buddha require the ultimate sacrifice, a life of abuse and slavery to provide for those very ones who are so demanding and yet so ashamed of her existence.
Or, maybe she is a wife whose husband wants more money, so each day she slaves to take care of her family and each night she is dropped off by her husband to work the street. It is not the status of the girl in a family that determines her fate, it is the desires of others and the status of a gender Buddha did not consider worthy of value or honor.
Today I witnessed tragedy, as a woman, oppressed and scorned by the world, prayed and worshipped the very deity which enslaved her.
Yesterday I witnessed injustice as a hundred voices raised prayers to ears that do not hear and petitions to eyes that cannot see.
Barefoot, before the most elaborate statue of Buddha, I stood in the greatest and wealthiest temple in all Thailand. The voices required me to pay homage to their great god, the idol made by the hands of man-- standing for an unjust law created in the deceptive heart of man-- to bow before him on bended knee and lift up my pleas. No sacrifice or respect will I grant to that false god enslaving billions and leading them astray.
Quickly I fled the temple, my only sacrifice is the tears I weep for this people who reject the Alpha and Omega for a tottering statue decorated by the creative mind of man.
I smiled as I saw the foundations of the temple were cracked and God’s nature was peeking through, eager to overtake and pull down the lies and schemes of man. All this will pass away. Every lie will be exposed. Every idol built up by man, especially those built on the sweat and blood of others, will fall.
Is there a distinction between the strife of the poor, the blind, the deaf, the cripple and the turmoil that rages in the hearts of nations? Their cries echo in my ears as their seemingly hopeless plight reflects strange and horrible lights from their still vacant eyes.
One day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess who is Lord and it will not be Buddha. Only One name will endure and it will not be his. One day tragedy, injustice, strife and turmoil will be no more, nor shall we weep ever again. Truth will reveal every lie and each falsehood will be destroyed. The innocent, weak, and poor will be oppressed no longer. No deformity will exist among men and there will be no more beggars for all will find healing and answered prayers at the One True Temple.
Until that time, love is the greatest gift we have to reach the lost, wearied and hopeless souls in this world. One day Justice will reign, but until that day both the oppressed and the oppressor need the love and grace of Christ for both are enslaved.
Peace is found in the eye of the storm, for Christ is the center of all things. In Him all is and all is held together. As the rain pours down on this dark night, I pray it is the tears of Christ washing and renewing this desolate land.
Today, I witnessed tragedy in the eyes of a young prostitute as she wept before Buddha, begging health for her family who sent her to work the streets and forgiveness for her wretched state and cursed life. Society looks down upon her and even her family despises her. But this life is payment to Buddha for the bad karma earned in her previous life. Everything that happens to her has been earned by her own hand and is deserved. There is no such thing as mercy, only debt. In her mind, the only chance for peace and redemption lay in selling the one possession she has, her body, to take care of her family because Buddha says the ultimate good a woman can do is to care for her family at any cost and places little value on women.
If she were born a boy, serving in the temple as a Monk for a few weeks would earn enough good karma to outweigh a lifetime of bad and would bring unfathomable honor to the family. But, as a woman, in a family that is either poor or simply wants more wealth and prestige, duty, honor and Buddha require the ultimate sacrifice, a life of abuse and slavery to provide for those very ones who are so demanding and yet so ashamed of her existence.
Or, maybe she is a wife whose husband wants more money, so each day she slaves to take care of her family and each night she is dropped off by her husband to work the street. It is not the status of the girl in a family that determines her fate, it is the desires of others and the status of a gender Buddha did not consider worthy of value or honor.
Today I witnessed tragedy, as a woman, oppressed and scorned by the world, prayed and worshipped the very deity which enslaved her.
Yesterday I witnessed injustice as a hundred voices raised prayers to ears that do not hear and petitions to eyes that cannot see.
Barefoot, before the most elaborate statue of Buddha, I stood in the greatest and wealthiest temple in all Thailand. The voices required me to pay homage to their great god, the idol made by the hands of man-- standing for an unjust law created in the deceptive heart of man-- to bow before him on bended knee and lift up my pleas. No sacrifice or respect will I grant to that false god enslaving billions and leading them astray.
Quickly I fled the temple, my only sacrifice is the tears I weep for this people who reject the Alpha and Omega for a tottering statue decorated by the creative mind of man.
I smiled as I saw the foundations of the temple were cracked and God’s nature was peeking through, eager to overtake and pull down the lies and schemes of man. All this will pass away. Every lie will be exposed. Every idol built up by man, especially those built on the sweat and blood of others, will fall.
Is there a distinction between the strife of the poor, the blind, the deaf, the cripple and the turmoil that rages in the hearts of nations? Their cries echo in my ears as their seemingly hopeless plight reflects strange and horrible lights from their still vacant eyes.
One day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess who is Lord and it will not be Buddha. Only One name will endure and it will not be his. One day tragedy, injustice, strife and turmoil will be no more, nor shall we weep ever again. Truth will reveal every lie and each falsehood will be destroyed. The innocent, weak, and poor will be oppressed no longer. No deformity will exist among men and there will be no more beggars for all will find healing and answered prayers at the One True Temple.
Until that time, love is the greatest gift we have to reach the lost, wearied and hopeless souls in this world. One day Justice will reign, but until that day both the oppressed and the oppressor need the love and grace of Christ for both are enslaved.
Peace is found in the eye of the storm, for Christ is the center of all things. In Him all is and all is held together. As the rain pours down on this dark night, I pray it is the tears of Christ washing and renewing this desolate land.
The Mask
There are moments in life when time stands still; when the colorful horizon fails to spread its fingers across the dark sky and the dreary blackness creeps ever closer threatening our weary souls. It is in these times of darkness, chaos and pain we are either forever broken or through the tremendous fire we are reformed and built up stronger and wiser than before. These are the fires that test the heart of man, proving his character or devouring his soul.
Trials fill life. Everyday is a blessing and a challenge, a new beginning and a new ending. Everyday our true colors are revealed through our thoughts, words and deeds. No mask can forever hide the character of man, it only momentarily shields the colors slowly leaking through to eager eyes.
No one can hide from God. This is why the world tries so hard to forget and deny Him, for He sees us as we are and there is nothing we can do to stop His searching and knowing eyes. It is impossible for the world to forget God because He is our Father and we are made in His image.
His mark is over all creation, especially man, His crowning glory.
I wish for Him not to see me as I am, but as I would be. It is no wonder the world lives as it does and then desires to hide such shame from its Father.
What an honor that He sees beyond my mask, beyond all darkness and pain and loves me as I am. What glory that He overlooks my iniquities because of the crimson blood covering my shame.
Tonight does Time stand still? No, she is only an illusion and I am in the embrace of my Lord. His light surrounds me in this darkness as His strong arms guide me. The reasons for trials, pain, and these weary struggles I may never know. The fruit of this labor I may never see. The results I may never comprehend or imagine, but one thing I do know: His promises are true and to His word I cling this day and everyday. If I stand, I stand before my Lord and if I fall, I fall to my knees before His throne. Before Him I do not have to hide and could not even if I so desired.
Trials fill life. Everyday is a blessing and a challenge, a new beginning and a new ending. Everyday our true colors are revealed through our thoughts, words and deeds. No mask can forever hide the character of man, it only momentarily shields the colors slowly leaking through to eager eyes.
No one can hide from God. This is why the world tries so hard to forget and deny Him, for He sees us as we are and there is nothing we can do to stop His searching and knowing eyes. It is impossible for the world to forget God because He is our Father and we are made in His image.
His mark is over all creation, especially man, His crowning glory.
I wish for Him not to see me as I am, but as I would be. It is no wonder the world lives as it does and then desires to hide such shame from its Father.
What an honor that He sees beyond my mask, beyond all darkness and pain and loves me as I am. What glory that He overlooks my iniquities because of the crimson blood covering my shame.
Tonight does Time stand still? No, she is only an illusion and I am in the embrace of my Lord. His light surrounds me in this darkness as His strong arms guide me. The reasons for trials, pain, and these weary struggles I may never know. The fruit of this labor I may never see. The results I may never comprehend or imagine, but one thing I do know: His promises are true and to His word I cling this day and everyday. If I stand, I stand before my Lord and if I fall, I fall to my knees before His throne. Before Him I do not have to hide and could not even if I so desired.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Unknown
I do not know where you are from, nor do I understand the language you speak. I do not know who has loved you or failed to love you in this brief life. What has brought you here to this place, this lifestyle, I will never know just as I will never know the depth of the unspoken wounds hidden deep within your broken and pining heart.
From across the world I came to tell you of the greatest love man has ever known, but my language is foreign to you just as I am foreign to you. What tomorrow holds for us I cannot say. What today brings who can tell?
All I do know is that God has blessed me with this one brief moment to share His unconditional love with you despite the past and regardless of the future. God is love and love transcends all boundaries and barriers.
So day by day we sit, hand-in-hand, watching the seconds turn to minutes, the minutes to days and the days to weeks. Maybe someday, someone will be able to tell you Who sent me and about the great love that called me to cross oceans to sit beside you, to accept you as you are and love you without cause or judgment. Maybe one day you will know the freedom in which I live and the graceful love that gave it to me. Until that day, I leave you in the Hands of my Lord and I love you because He first loved me.
From across the world I came to tell you of the greatest love man has ever known, but my language is foreign to you just as I am foreign to you. What tomorrow holds for us I cannot say. What today brings who can tell?
All I do know is that God has blessed me with this one brief moment to share His unconditional love with you despite the past and regardless of the future. God is love and love transcends all boundaries and barriers.
So day by day we sit, hand-in-hand, watching the seconds turn to minutes, the minutes to days and the days to weeks. Maybe someday, someone will be able to tell you Who sent me and about the great love that called me to cross oceans to sit beside you, to accept you as you are and love you without cause or judgment. Maybe one day you will know the freedom in which I live and the graceful love that gave it to me. Until that day, I leave you in the Hands of my Lord and I love you because He first loved me.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Unexpected Light Amidst Darkness
Once I was asked “Who is the most famous person you have ever known?”
“Jesus Christ” was my instant response.
“No really, I’m being serious.” said my Christian friend.
I have beheld the face of our Lord this week. His light I have seen quite literally in the darkest and least expected places.
First I saw Him at Soi 4 as I was sitting, weary and exhausted, on a lonely bar stool facing a busy street. A bar girl I have often seen working but never had a chance to speak to, with the most beautiful sweet face and kind eyes came to me with a gift. She saw me looking tired and discouraged and brought me my favorite food in all Thailand, the sweet rose-apple. She came to me and said “Marwy, you are hungry? I bring this for you. We are friends Marwy? I like you. We will be friends?” She knew my name and extended me friendship and love even though I had done nothing to earn or deserve her gift or kindness. In her unsuspecting and kind generosity, I saw the face of my Lord.
Again I saw his face, as I held the hand of a young man who is an X-monk, a Christian, and a hurting and struggling homosexual. Together we wept as we beheld the work of Our Lord in our lives and the paths we have walked and the struggles we have faced. I never believed I could have so much in common with a man from across the earth or form such a bond. But Christ’s love has no limits just as His grace and forgiveness know no bounds. He is the tie that holds us together in love and hope. All other ties may be severed, but never the one we have with and in Christ.
Next, I saw Him in the dark night sky and in deep waters as we casually floated through the heart of Thailand. His brilliant lights do not twinkle from the night sky alone. On this particular night His stars glimmered above while their beautiful reflections shimmered from the dark water and the light of millions of fireflies lit up the forest and banks on both sides of the river. The tiny glimmers of light pierced the darkness and taught me that Light is to be found where and when we least expect it. Just to drive home His point, occasionally He lit the entire night with a vivid light that split the sky and showered a spectrum of colors upon the entire world that I have never witnessed before.
Then, I saw him in the eyes and laughter of a dozen children and adults living together in what most would consider a run-down slum: laughing, splashing and enjoying the rising tide that came to wash their eager shores. With such hope and love amidst such poverty how could one not be encouraged and join in? They will spend their entire lives bathing in the river. I spent only a moment, yet it is a moment that will linger with me the rest of my life.
Finally, I saw Him in the heart of a tiny Thai girl as she sweetly sang “Jesus loves me and I love Him, for this I know.” It may not be quite the version we know and sing, but it was the same tune from a sister heart loving and praising her Lord.
This week I have beheld the face of my Lord. His Light shines over the face of the entire earth. Sometimes we cannot see it and other times we are so fortunate to catch glimpses. But it is always easier to see something when we are looking for it. I hope to keep my eyes open, for He is everywhere perceptibly and imperceptibly changing the face of this land and the territory of our hearts.
Psalm 19
The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
2Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
3There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.
4Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their utterances to the end of the world
In them He has placed a tent for the sun,
5Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber;
It rejoices as a strong man to run his course.
6Its rising is from one end of the heavens,
And its circuit to the other end of them;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.
7The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul;
The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
8The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.
9The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;
The judgments of the LORD are true; they are righteous altogether.
10They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.
11Moreover, by them Your servant is warned;
In keeping them there is great reward.
12Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.
13Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not rule over me;
Then I will be blameless,
And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.
14Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.
“Jesus Christ” was my instant response.
“No really, I’m being serious.” said my Christian friend.
I have beheld the face of our Lord this week. His light I have seen quite literally in the darkest and least expected places.
First I saw Him at Soi 4 as I was sitting, weary and exhausted, on a lonely bar stool facing a busy street. A bar girl I have often seen working but never had a chance to speak to, with the most beautiful sweet face and kind eyes came to me with a gift. She saw me looking tired and discouraged and brought me my favorite food in all Thailand, the sweet rose-apple. She came to me and said “Marwy, you are hungry? I bring this for you. We are friends Marwy? I like you. We will be friends?” She knew my name and extended me friendship and love even though I had done nothing to earn or deserve her gift or kindness. In her unsuspecting and kind generosity, I saw the face of my Lord.
Again I saw his face, as I held the hand of a young man who is an X-monk, a Christian, and a hurting and struggling homosexual. Together we wept as we beheld the work of Our Lord in our lives and the paths we have walked and the struggles we have faced. I never believed I could have so much in common with a man from across the earth or form such a bond. But Christ’s love has no limits just as His grace and forgiveness know no bounds. He is the tie that holds us together in love and hope. All other ties may be severed, but never the one we have with and in Christ.
Next, I saw Him in the dark night sky and in deep waters as we casually floated through the heart of Thailand. His brilliant lights do not twinkle from the night sky alone. On this particular night His stars glimmered above while their beautiful reflections shimmered from the dark water and the light of millions of fireflies lit up the forest and banks on both sides of the river. The tiny glimmers of light pierced the darkness and taught me that Light is to be found where and when we least expect it. Just to drive home His point, occasionally He lit the entire night with a vivid light that split the sky and showered a spectrum of colors upon the entire world that I have never witnessed before.
Then, I saw him in the eyes and laughter of a dozen children and adults living together in what most would consider a run-down slum: laughing, splashing and enjoying the rising tide that came to wash their eager shores. With such hope and love amidst such poverty how could one not be encouraged and join in? They will spend their entire lives bathing in the river. I spent only a moment, yet it is a moment that will linger with me the rest of my life.
Finally, I saw Him in the heart of a tiny Thai girl as she sweetly sang “Jesus loves me and I love Him, for this I know.” It may not be quite the version we know and sing, but it was the same tune from a sister heart loving and praising her Lord.
This week I have beheld the face of my Lord. His Light shines over the face of the entire earth. Sometimes we cannot see it and other times we are so fortunate to catch glimpses. But it is always easier to see something when we are looking for it. I hope to keep my eyes open, for He is everywhere perceptibly and imperceptibly changing the face of this land and the territory of our hearts.
Psalm 19
The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
2Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
3There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.
4Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their utterances to the end of the world
In them He has placed a tent for the sun,
5Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber;
It rejoices as a strong man to run his course.
6Its rising is from one end of the heavens,
And its circuit to the other end of them;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.
7The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul;
The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
8The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.
9The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;
The judgments of the LORD are true; they are righteous altogether.
10They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.
11Moreover, by them Your servant is warned;
In keeping them there is great reward.
12Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.
13Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins;
Let them not rule over me;
Then I will be blameless,
And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.
14Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Rose-Colored Glasses
I passed by a family I saw sleeping on the road my first night today. The little baby boy was running around naked. When he saw me he screamed and ran up to me with his arms held out. It broke my heart. I wanted to pick him up and wash him and clothe him. I was already passing by when he saw me and ran to me. He grabbed my skirt and clung to my leg. I smiled down at him but I could not take him with me.
We go to the bars every day and spend time with the girls. They squeal in excitement when they see us coming and we play several games of pool with them. Sometimes we bring them bread from the market. We buy them pineapple or orange drinks too. We have a great time but foremost in our thoughts are the masks they wear and the lives they are being forced to live.
Sometimes at night we go to the GoGo bars and walk around Nano Plaza. Hundreds of girls are there for sale and they walk around with numbers on. At some of the places the girls walk around upstairs without clothes on. All the men who buy them can see are the numbers on their boots from down below. They buy them without ever seeing their faces.
We talk to the girls at the bars and they are animated and sweet. Then when they have to get up and dance on the stage naked or mostly naked with bright neon lights and mirrors filling the entire room, with all the men saying and doing various things, their faces turn into masks.
Vacant eyes stare out from the faces that pray they will please Buddha enough in this life to have a better spot next go around. We see Buddha's everywhere with food, drinks and incense surrounding them. They girls pray to be purified constantly and for forgiveness for the lives they are living. It is truly so tragic.
Several of the girls have responded to our invitations to check out beginnings and one even came home with us. Beginnings offers them a different chance at life away from the bars. They finish school and are taught trades. They are given allowances to send home to their families. It's not much, but some of them don't make much. They are basically indentured servants to the bars and all their pay goes to the bars. They have a quota of customers they must meet every month and most of the money made from that goes to their demanding families.
Often, even if they would make more money at Beginnings the families will not allow them to leave the bars. They still obey their parents even when they are 43-years-old and still prostituting at a bar half-way across the country.
Two girls we met (one was 36, but we refer to all of them as girls) have become Christians, but they cannot leave the bars because their families told them Beginnings might traffic them and they were not allowed to leave the safety or lifestyle the bar has provided them. Their families are hoping they will find foreign husbands who will provide for the families. When a Thai woman marries a man, he marries her entire family and he become his responsibility to provide for them. The girls asked us to pray for them and we did. They asked that we pray for their families-- their parents health and for their brothers and sisters. They never mentioned any specific need they had or asked us to pray for themselves at all-just for others.
Now I understand why the Lady of Shallot in Lord Alfred Tennyson's poem died after she turned from the rose colored mirror through which she saw the perfect and beautiful world. She had known her whole life that if she were to stop seeing and weaving the beautiful images she saw of the world through her rose-glassed mirror that an unknown curse would come upon her. So she ignored the true world and kept weaving in her happy oblivion. Then one day Sir Lancelot came riding by on his beautiful noble steed with his strong armor, flashy shield, shiny helmet, coal black hair and dashing smile. She couldn't stop herself. She ran to the window and looked at the world as it truly is for the first time because she had to truly see him, and not through a mirror. It was beautiful. She saw the water lily bloom and she saw the love of her life. But the magical mirror cracked side to side and her loom broke in two. "The curse has come upon me" she cried. She could never go back to the other world she had known because she realized it never truly existed and of course her mirror had cracked! She left the tower for the first time in her life and gazed down towards Camelot in a strange, somber and quiet trance. She stepped into a boat and floated down the river towards Camelot. Floating down the river and singing in her song, she died.
Now, I'm not going to float down any rivers in a boat as the mythical Lady of Shallot, nor do I have any morbid dates with my Eternal Destination at this particular moment in time that I am aware of. But I love the poem in which the Lady of Shallot lives and the truth behind it, even though it has a most tragic ending. Unlike the Lady of Shallot, however, my story and the story of all those who know our Lord ends differently. It is a far cry from tragedy.
But so many of us live as she did, with our rose-colored glasses, not seeing the world as it is but as we want it to be. We do not see the destitute or the child prostitute on our doorstep because it would just ruin the rose-world in which we live. As I'm with the girls and see the things going on I think of how in a month I will leave them and return to my lovely parents and friends and to my beautiful home and most blessed life. They will still be here. Years from now, I will stop and wonder if they made it out or not.
I think this verse over and over again: Psalms 46:10-11
Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth.The LORD of hosts is with us.The God of Jacob is our stronghold.
Truly we are blessed people. We have so much opportunity at our fingertips and when we simply open our eyes to the truths of the world their is so much good we can do. But we cannot help those around us and right before our eyes if we do not look to see them. When we do see them, our world will be forever altered. It does not have to be a death or a horrible change. We cling to the promises that God has given us and do the best we can to love and obey Him and lead others to the freedom and hope we have found in Him alone.
James 1:26-27If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
We go to the bars every day and spend time with the girls. They squeal in excitement when they see us coming and we play several games of pool with them. Sometimes we bring them bread from the market. We buy them pineapple or orange drinks too. We have a great time but foremost in our thoughts are the masks they wear and the lives they are being forced to live.
Sometimes at night we go to the GoGo bars and walk around Nano Plaza. Hundreds of girls are there for sale and they walk around with numbers on. At some of the places the girls walk around upstairs without clothes on. All the men who buy them can see are the numbers on their boots from down below. They buy them without ever seeing their faces.
We talk to the girls at the bars and they are animated and sweet. Then when they have to get up and dance on the stage naked or mostly naked with bright neon lights and mirrors filling the entire room, with all the men saying and doing various things, their faces turn into masks.
Vacant eyes stare out from the faces that pray they will please Buddha enough in this life to have a better spot next go around. We see Buddha's everywhere with food, drinks and incense surrounding them. They girls pray to be purified constantly and for forgiveness for the lives they are living. It is truly so tragic.
Several of the girls have responded to our invitations to check out beginnings and one even came home with us. Beginnings offers them a different chance at life away from the bars. They finish school and are taught trades. They are given allowances to send home to their families. It's not much, but some of them don't make much. They are basically indentured servants to the bars and all their pay goes to the bars. They have a quota of customers they must meet every month and most of the money made from that goes to their demanding families.
Often, even if they would make more money at Beginnings the families will not allow them to leave the bars. They still obey their parents even when they are 43-years-old and still prostituting at a bar half-way across the country.
Two girls we met (one was 36, but we refer to all of them as girls) have become Christians, but they cannot leave the bars because their families told them Beginnings might traffic them and they were not allowed to leave the safety or lifestyle the bar has provided them. Their families are hoping they will find foreign husbands who will provide for the families. When a Thai woman marries a man, he marries her entire family and he become his responsibility to provide for them. The girls asked us to pray for them and we did. They asked that we pray for their families-- their parents health and for their brothers and sisters. They never mentioned any specific need they had or asked us to pray for themselves at all-just for others.
Now I understand why the Lady of Shallot in Lord Alfred Tennyson's poem died after she turned from the rose colored mirror through which she saw the perfect and beautiful world. She had known her whole life that if she were to stop seeing and weaving the beautiful images she saw of the world through her rose-glassed mirror that an unknown curse would come upon her. So she ignored the true world and kept weaving in her happy oblivion. Then one day Sir Lancelot came riding by on his beautiful noble steed with his strong armor, flashy shield, shiny helmet, coal black hair and dashing smile. She couldn't stop herself. She ran to the window and looked at the world as it truly is for the first time because she had to truly see him, and not through a mirror. It was beautiful. She saw the water lily bloom and she saw the love of her life. But the magical mirror cracked side to side and her loom broke in two. "The curse has come upon me" she cried. She could never go back to the other world she had known because she realized it never truly existed and of course her mirror had cracked! She left the tower for the first time in her life and gazed down towards Camelot in a strange, somber and quiet trance. She stepped into a boat and floated down the river towards Camelot. Floating down the river and singing in her song, she died.
Now, I'm not going to float down any rivers in a boat as the mythical Lady of Shallot, nor do I have any morbid dates with my Eternal Destination at this particular moment in time that I am aware of. But I love the poem in which the Lady of Shallot lives and the truth behind it, even though it has a most tragic ending. Unlike the Lady of Shallot, however, my story and the story of all those who know our Lord ends differently. It is a far cry from tragedy.
But so many of us live as she did, with our rose-colored glasses, not seeing the world as it is but as we want it to be. We do not see the destitute or the child prostitute on our doorstep because it would just ruin the rose-world in which we live. As I'm with the girls and see the things going on I think of how in a month I will leave them and return to my lovely parents and friends and to my beautiful home and most blessed life. They will still be here. Years from now, I will stop and wonder if they made it out or not.
I think this verse over and over again: Psalms 46:10-11
Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth.The LORD of hosts is with us.The God of Jacob is our stronghold.
Truly we are blessed people. We have so much opportunity at our fingertips and when we simply open our eyes to the truths of the world their is so much good we can do. But we cannot help those around us and right before our eyes if we do not look to see them. When we do see them, our world will be forever altered. It does not have to be a death or a horrible change. We cling to the promises that God has given us and do the best we can to love and obey Him and lead others to the freedom and hope we have found in Him alone.
James 1:26-27If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
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